Seattle Sounders at Montreal Impact: Terrible Reruns

The Seattle Sounders show has been nothing but terrible reruns lately. Again the Sounders will field a motley lineup, now growing more desiccate, and again face an underwhelming opponent (this time the Montreal Impact). We are all tuning in because, you know, that is the masochistic part of fandom. We forever cede all agency and subject our emotional and mental state to a contest that we cannot affect.

The Sounders haven’t just been losing. They’ve been losing in maddeningly similar fashion. The ol’ cliché is “The definition of insanity is doing the exact same, thing but expecting different results.” The Sounders are driving us all mad.

The numbers: Seattle has lost 6 of their last 8. That’s 6 points from 24 for a grisly .75 ppg. In 5 of those 6 losses, the overwhelmed reserves acquitted themselves reasonably well (acquitted themselves reasonably well, how’s that for rhetoric and equivocation?), only to see the result slip away in the final quarter (or even later) of the contest. Only the 2-nil San Jose loss was over before the hour mark. The Sounders have repeatedly strung along the Rave Green faithful with the thought that a result could be salvaged, as every other match played late to a draw, a result within Seattle’s grasp. But then… nada.

The Litany of Losses:

  • 84th minute goal to the Colorado Rapids
  • 90+ stoppage time goal to the Chicago Fire
  • 74th, 76th, 90+ minutes goals to the Portland Timbers
  • 69th minute goal to the Philadelphia Union
  • 84th minute goal to Sporting Kansas City

C’mon Seattle. Fight and Win. Instead we’ve been subjected to “fight, then lose” (except for the Chicago game where the order of the day was “stink, then lose”)

My preview of Montreal yesterday was admittedly poor. But all of these opponents are starting to blur together. All these games and all these losses are blurring together. I think of the shot from Trainspotting where Ewan McGregor sits in the pub post-recovery and the world speeds around him. At least Portland piled it on (darkest humor mode) to spice things up. All of this makes me think Montreal’s Jack McInerney will slot one past Perkins in the, oh… 85th minute to take all three points on a 1-0 result. Thus Quote Nietzsche:

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?

Bold Prediction: You want bold? How about Seattle magically sneaks one past Bush in the 13th minute (numerology!) and they somehow manage to hold the lead. Let’s flip the script. C’mon Seattle. Fight and flipthescript. Throw yourself, gnash your teeth and curse the demon. That would make one helluva ending.


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